It takes a worried man , to sing a worried song.

Well, I guess I will vent today. I am feeling a little bit sad. Lianna, my first grandchild started school yesterday. I don't remember feeling sad when my sons started school but back then I was working and my wife, Sandra, handled most of that. But I am feeling things I didn't expect. She loved her first day. Told me some kids cried and she didn't understand why. She didn't she said and then one of the kids bit another kid and he was removed and she wondered if he will be back. She was up at 4 AM asking if it was time to get ready. She looked so big as she was leaving.

Here Is Lianna showing me what she will wear the first day.

Here she is, at the door, waiting for her parents to come out.
Here she is walking to school with her mom and dad. A little girl with a darn big pack.

So today she is at school, starting the long path to her dreams. I pray I have prepared her well.

Today, just a few mins ago, Robet, my youngest ( by one min) left for his final year at BYU in Provo, Utah. When he returns he plans to wed.

Now I know that some may be getting tired of hearing about my wife. But this is my venting so here goes.

On this date, last year , I brought Sandra home from the hospital for the last time. She didn't want to be there and the docter told us there was nothing more to do. He agreed to let her come home and be with her family. It has effected me a great deal, more then I expected. It was the start of a short slide to her heavenly reward. So today I am feeling very down.

Yesterday, at my phyical, I was told I flunked my PSA test. I have to have it redone in 2 weeks before they decide if I should have more test. It was not that high but after all these year it was up and they want to know if I have cancer or not. I think if I do, I will not do anything. Lots of men die with postate cancer rather then because of it. I just have not felt that well anyway. I told my son, Robert, the same thing his mom told him last year. If any thing happens, don't come home. Stay and finish your schooling. He really is not mine anymore anyway. He has become an independant person. But at times I am surprised at the things he doesn't know and I have to help him out.

So, I feel a little sad, confused, worried but I really would love to see Sandra again. I am tired. Maybe it is because of the dates. I keep thinking of what happened last year at this time. Have been doing that for about 2 weeks now.

i never asked before but if you pray, could you say one for me?

Oh what a dream

Oh what a night it was.

There I was laying in bed, this in my dream. I looked up and there was Sandra. She looked so good, no oxygen tank, no hose to her nose, not a wheelchair in sight. Just a big smile on her face. She is beautiful! I think to myself, I must be dreaming but NO. I never felt so happy, not even in a dream. I give her a big hug and can't think of what to say to her. I felt so complet, so full of joy. I start to think, "It's happen! The morning of the first resurrection!"

Then, in my dream, Lianna comes in and hollers "Grandma!!!" Lianna runs to her and gives her a hug and is chattering at 90 MPH. I felt myself starting to get up and I awoke. I looked over at her side of the bed and then I knew that I had been dreaming.

It had seemed so real. So full of joy and happiness. Such a great moment ! At first I was sad when I woke up but then a feeling of joy came over it. I think it was not a dream, but a promise.

I think of my friend, Sally and how she will rejoice when she see her brother, I think of Lisa when her son will wrap his arms around her and kiss her and call her mom. I think of Maren, another online friend as she gets up and runs to her family and finds joy in doing what most mom's complain about. You know, picking up after kids and hubby.

And Sunny, with no trac in her neck. Still with the same big smile on her face but able to breath normally. All my COPD online friend, walking and not having that green tank behind them. We shall sing and not turn blue. My COPD friends from England being able to meet together with us.

But for now, our kids and grandkids will go on with life. Our pets will pass and prepare our souls for more loses to come. We will find there are good people here, with many of the same problems. But as we do, they try, holding on to the promises given us.

I have so many friend that I have not listed but know that I think of each of you, one at a time. My heart is full, I weep with you, I rejoice with you. I hurt when you hurt, I feel good when you feel good.

I am glad you are my friends.

Lee

Some Enchanted Evening

Did you ever see the movie "South Pacific"? Remember when Nellie Forbush and Emile De Bcque were at a party and they looked across the room and saw each other? The song "Some Enchanted Evening" starts to play and suddenly they each only saw each other. The picture around them turned fuzzy and Emile sings the song.

"Some enchanted evening, you will see a stranger, you will see a stranger, across a crowded room, and some how you know, you know even then, that some how you'll see her again and again."

I remeber back to when as a youth wearing a white hat and dress blues I had left the ship to attend church "on the beach" and as I sat in the pew I felt my shoe was not tight. I looked down and saw that my shoelace had come undone. I bent over to tie it and after I had so I glance across the aisle and there was a girl, leaning over in her pew looking at me. All of a sudden, everything else around her fuzzied out and she was all there was to see. I didn't hear the preacher, only a soft background noise.

As soon as the service ended I started toward her and she smiled at me as I came near her. We started talking and I learned her name, told her mine and I knew I would see her again and again. Turns out her brother was the minister at that church. ( I am a PK, preacher's kid) so we laughed about that.

For about 2 years we went together, off and on. Everytime I went to sea I had to woe her back. I guess I was in love with her and thought she might me in love with me. She wasn't. When my enlistment ended, we said our good-byes, and I have not seen her since. I moved to Wisconsin and never heard from her again.

But now in my advance age, I think of her from time to time. I smile and think back but am glad we didn't marry as it never would have worked. But for a young sailor, it was a good memory.