Thursday, August 6, 2009

grandkids

It's kind of strange, last night I was wishing that Lianna would leave me alone so I could play on my computer. Sophie kept wanting to be in my lap, typing with her feet. Then tonight, Lianna is at her cousins and Sophie is out with her mom to visit the other side of the family. And I miss them.

Much to quite, I keep wondering what they are getting into now. My sons are home, each in their own world safe in their rooms, using their computers. I can't find any online friends online at this time.

Sophie is growing so fast. I can't believe how she loves to play games with me. It is so much fun, sometimes she pretends she picked something off the floor and puts it in her mouth. I go get it out and she didn't have anything and then she laughs at me. Not bad for a one year old.

Lianna is getting ready to return to school, and she always wants me to play school with her. She lines up all her dolls and I suppose to have roll call and give a lesson. Everyone one of them has a name. From Lickly Lickly Lala to Married man. Better get the names right too.

I miss them, I hope I never forget that and say something dumb like "leave me alone"

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

What the....?

I don't recall the date other then it was 1961. It was either sometime around the Bay of Pigs invasion or in the fall of the same year.. Tenisons were at a high level with Cuba. We had been in the area around Cuba for some weeks, training and conducting war games.

One day, as we sailed around close to some island, the general alarm went off. Bong, bong, bong. No words just the alarm. It was the first time I had heard the alarm without the words, "Now hear this, this is a drill, this is a drill. All hands man your battle stations". then the alarm, Bong bong bong, would keep going till someone in charge turn it off.

In shock, I ran forward to my battle station, high in the upper deck, to man my Target Designator Transmitter, or TDT. As I ran forward I couldn't help but noticed that our guns were swinging out as I ran forward and up. I could see, in my mind, our missile lanchers receiving their missiles and swing to face the targets. Hatchets were being slamed shut, dogged (locked). Sailors putting on helmets and life jackets. Lookouts scaning the sky.

I felt a strange kind of pride. We were doing everything just as we had done during our countless drills. But this time, live ammo was being loaded into the breechs. Just as I pluged in my headset the captain came on the 1MC. He told us it was a mistake, someone had pushed the alarm button. He told us he had been getting a hair cut when it went off and that he was still wearing a sheet around his neck. The alarm was canceled and we went back to normal duties.

Later we found out a new crewmember had been polishing the brass in aftercon. After control is where the ship can be controled if the bridge gets wiped out. Anyway, wanting to do a good job he pushed the lever covering the brass plate out is his way and that lever was the general alarm. I bet his officer got chew out and I bet he chewed out he person in charge of the new guy.

But what I saw and felt confirmed to me that "we" were ready. If Castro came at us we would respone. No Pearl Harbor for the USS Canberra. We were a team, trained, and ready to respone. No panic, no wondering what to do. We would fight as we had trained.

Sleep well America, our armed forces are trained and ready.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Life

Life. It is a mystery to me. Some people cling to life beyond my understanding. Others seem to give it up to willingly. What is it about life that some of us want to keep on going and others are finding so hard?

I wish to be able to see my grandkids grow up. Finish high school. Not so high a goal you may say but life is not mine to grant. I am pass my mid sixties. I have no idea how much time I may have left. I find joy in watching Sophie learn little things that most of us have forgotten that we knew.

I was playing with my grandkids and Lianna and I were tossing a ball. Sophie wanted to play so I threw her the ball. She picked it up and tried to throw it back. But she didn't know how to get her hand to open at the right time. The first time she tried she drew back her little arm and flung it forward. The ball didn't fly out. She had not opened her fingers. She knew how to drop things, if fact, she loves to make grandpa pick things up for her. A great game that babies loves to play. But throwing? Why is that ball sticking to my hand? After Lianna and I had a nice laugh we tried to teach her how to open her hand. After a little bit, she could throw. No major leauge pitcher YET. But she knew about opening her hand and she loved it. The ball may not go where she is looking but it goes. She has learned a lesson in life.

I smiled.

At her age, life is not a mystery, it is just what is, que sera, sera. Learn to walk, learn to talk and learn to think. I love watching my grandkids think. I have watched over the cover of a book as they look at things, turn them over and wonder "why?" Lianna knows how to use a screwdriver and other hand tools. Sometimes I wish I had not shown her. but she loves to learn what is inside of things. Once she came in to my den holding a little white box. She announce, "this is the talking box." It had been in one of her talking dolls.

Life, so much fun at times, so hurtfull at other times. This week I heard that a friend of mine had a "mini stoke" while at work. They rushed her to a hospital and they kept her for a few days. She is home now, with orders to rest. This prompted me to start thinking about life. Our bodies are so special, so complex. We have lungs to draw in air, a heart to pump our blood throughout our bodies. Blood brings oxygen and food to our cells, and then carries away waste where our livers and kidneys help us get rid of it and then the lungs release "the bad air" out so they can draw in "good air'. Our brains control this complex system without us even thinking about it. Did it learn this in the womb? Bit by bit, line upon line?

This wonder of God, our life hangs by a thread. My friend had a leak in a blood vessel in the brain. Just a small one, if it was under the sink in the kitchen it would be sometime before we saw it. Be it was in the brain. She tells me, her arm went numb as she watched it but she could not control it. It was such a small leak. She told, mumbled to be honest, her boss to call 911. He did and they rushed her to a hospital. After 3 days she was sent home where we hope, honest again, I hope she recovers with no after effect.

Point of this story, life is what it is. We don't know how long we will be here so lets take time to let each other know what we feel. The worse thing in the world must be to believe that no one in this vast world gaves a damn about you. I know there are people here that like me and care. There are many that I care about. I pray they know, that I have told them. So if I tell you again. smile. And remember God loves you.

So if anyone still reads this blog, I am thinking of many of you, Lisa, Sally, Lammy, Angelheart, Brandi and Kevin (see Brandi, I didn't add the e) Maren. There is KJ as we use to call her.(makes me wish I was a young man), Fred and Wendy, Dewman and Nicole even nienie whom I have never hear from direct but has encourgaed me to keep going. Dawn and Jen over at ourcopd plus all the others over there. Carol and Jamie, to name a couple( the other already have names (LOL). There are other, of course but I didn't make a list. I write on the fly.

Life is short, but it can be great. Life is hard but it does teach. I keep you all in my prayers and thoughts. I hope I am in yours.